You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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