I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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