You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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