We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
