I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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