You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
