UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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