its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
