You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
