with your own penis?
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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