Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize