my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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