he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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