Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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