chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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