im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize