I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
found the other keg... it's in the tree
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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