So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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