yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
