Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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