dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
