Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
