Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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