if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
