I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
