I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
