Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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