dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i now understand why vodka
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
