Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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