Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
