Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
