I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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