He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
