is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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