A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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