Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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