I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
