Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
