Sorry, I don't speak sober.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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