We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
