mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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