Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
