he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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