Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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