I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
