Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
