we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize