Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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