I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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