Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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