he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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