remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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