I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
