I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
