Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
