the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm both gender and math confused
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
