Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
