Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
