maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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