Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
