You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
