cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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