Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
