dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
