These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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