I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
