I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If that was your dad, he is hot
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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