hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
