I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
