well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
